When real is not real.
About cognitive bias and relativeness of what we call "reality" and "truth".
Last time on Soft-Skilled Engineer we talked about the power of active listening.
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Today I want to build on the last one with one important fact to realize - you should always question and doubt what you call reality.
That helped me so many times not to assume, not to approach others with obvious prejudice, but to stay open-minded under all circumstances and be a careful active listener.
One sunny day in one marriage…
In a small town, Anna and her husband Mark lived in a cozy house. They were a normal couple with everyday problems. One day, they got a new washing machine. It was exciting!
Anna, who likes to keep things in order, tried the machine first. After washing, she couldn't open it and hurried to tell Mark, "It's broken, I can't open it!"
Mark, went to the other room, tried, and opened it easily. He joked, "It works fine. Maybe you're not doing it right. It might be possessed and the spirit doesn’t like you"
Yet he thought to himself that it was a bit annoying how she couldn’t open a perfectly working new washing machine.
This kept happening. Anna couldn't open it, but Mark could.
After a few occasions, He started to think Anna was making it up or doing something wrong. That was annoying!
But one day, Mark did the laundry and found the door stuck. He couldn't believe it.
He looked online and discovered the machine locks itself for two minutes after washing for safety.
Mark realized Anna was right all along. IT just unlocked every time before he got to help her, so it seemed all right.
He told her later, "You were right about the machine. I should have listened."
Anna smiled and said, "It's okay. We both learned something."
“Real“ is subjective.
I know.
It was a rather simple story - but the lesson learned is an important one.
What we understand as “Reality“ and “Truth“ might not always be a whole picture.
Keep that in mind next time a colleague asks you for help getting an error you don’t.
Keep that in mind next time you think something is not right because you don’t have a whole picture of the requirements of the customer.
Rather than going into opposition, ask questions.
Clarify.
Validate your idea of “Real“ and “Truth“.
That’s all for this week.
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See you next time! Pavel.
I love this - it's usable in both work and life! We don't know what someone is experiencing unless we follow it closely, actively listening, to see what is different. But, sometimes, as with Mark, we may need to experience it for ourselves. 🤔
Thank you for sharing the story!